Sweet Sixteen

 Our baby girl is somehow sweet sixteen today, and I’m not quite sure how it all happened so fast. While I *kind of* wish we were car shopping and going to grab a driver’s license, that’s just not what the Lord has for us this day. At sixteen, we are still over here changing diapers and doing tube feeds. We’ve still never heard Emma Kate’s first words. We’re still strapping carseats, and paying sitters and doing all the baby things, but with a big(ish) girl body. While some days it is absolutely, gut-wrenchingly, rip-your-heart-out painful, we KNOW that God is good and that we can trust Him FULLY with Emma Kate’s life. 

I’ve been studying the book of Jonah with some ladies at church and I had no idea a weird little story about a worm and a whale could relate so much to my life. I heard several analogies in this study by Paige Brown and they have resonated so much with me…

At one point in the study Paige Brown was talking about the funeral she attended of a friend of her’s who had special needs. She was reminiscing about her friend, Katie, who was so Christ-like and it reminded me so much of my Emma Kate. Here’s what she had to say:

“She lights up any room with her presence and as soon as she sees you, her eyes light up. She has a child-like innocence which is admirable. Does is come from the joy of the Lord? Does it come from the security of the love of her family?” 

God says, “I made Emma Kate in MY image.” I pray her life is a testimony of that love and grace and pure delight. She is always giving love. She has no sense of preconception, assumption, or prejudice. She makes no presumptions or assumptions. She has no preconceived notions. She will gladly take the hand of any perfect stranger as if to say, “Take my hand. Walk with me. Be my friend. Hold me. Love me. Laugh with me.” She just assumes everyone feels the same way. It never occurs to Emma Kate that she should not be friends with someone. I think we could all learn so much from her and from people like her if we would just take the time. 


Growing up, life seemed relatively easy. Thankfully my parents raised us in church and I believed Gods’ word, but it kind of seemed like other people needed God’s truth in a way that I couldn’t quite grasp. I kept on learning and studying God’s word and His promises kept getting added to my heart. It was kind of like I was making bank deposits. Then, at 20 weeks pregnant, we got very bad news about Emma Kate. And I had to start writing checks. BIG checks—A permanent diagnosis. A NICU stay that I thought would never end. A trip to Boston for open-heart surgery. Having to come to terms with the fact that my child might not ever speak a word to me…That she would be in diapers forever and that a feeding tube would always be a part of who she is…

But here’s the good news—By God’s grace, we have never overdrawn our ‘checking’ account. “The Lord has not asked anything of us that he has not placed in us. By His love and by His spirit and through His word, we have never overdrawn. It’s not that it is easy. It’s that He is faithful. He is still making deposits. He had us THEN. He has us STILL!”

Today, I am thankful that God has revealed things little by little to us over time. If we would have known all of the hard things sixteen years ago, we never would have been able to handle it. AND if we would have known all of the good things all at once, we never would have believed it. 

There are so many things about Emma Kate’s life that we will never understand in this life. But here is what I do know. God is good. His plans for us are good. He has NEVER forsaken us. He has never left us. He can not forget us. He will ALWAYS work out every detail for Emma Kate, albeit good or bad. 

Despite the hard, we can say with total confidence that we would not have things any other way. We would not change a thing. We know Jesus in a way we never would have otherwise. My precious boys know compassion in a way they never would have. We’ve made friends we absolutely wouldn’t know otherwise. We can relate to people who are suffering in a way we could not before. Thank you, Lord, for Emma Kate Unglesby and thank you for making her ours! I tell my boys all of the time that WE are the lucky ones. Except I know that it really isn’t luck at all. It is the Lord doing a very good, but a very hard work in our lives.

Everything we need to know has been revealed to us in scripture. Everything else is a mystery. And I just know that God is doing a wonderful, mysterious thing with Emma Kate Unglesby. 

-Rachel

November 13th also happens to be World Kindness Day. I know Emma Kate would love for you to spread a little kindness today in honor of her birthday.